Based on the updates to my blog, you would think I’ve been doing nothing for the past three months, but that isn’t the truth. In all actuality, I took a month break in December to spend time with family and then I got side-tracked with job hunting, moving, and life.
The whole job hunting activity ended up being a massive waste of time and a big blow to my ego as I was turned down time and time again for jobs I was eager to land. My skills were not sharp enough and preparing for interviews was an emotionally taxing and stressful exercise. I had so many fears regarding if I could meet and exceed the Employers expectations in the interview, and then on the job. The whole exercise was very tiring.
Throughout March I’ve been feeling really beat up. A lot has happened that has shaken my self-confidence. I hate to say it but I have felt more like giving up than pressing on. Things kept happening in my personal life that left me feeling taken advantage of, disrespected, defeated and overwhelmed. My feelings of self-worth were impacted, and all I could think about was the negative stuff. I couldn’t find the energy to press on towards my dream life. I cried a lot and allowed myself to feel defeated.
When life hands you a bag of rocks it can be hard to press on. It seems easier to give up, but setting a habit of giving up only does more damage. My experience has shown me that I benefit by allowing myself time to grieve, sulk, have a small tantrum but in the end, I’m happiest when I continue on the path that leads me to my dreams. In the beginning, taking those first few steps is hard. Restarting is hard, but my confidence, happiness, and joy return as I press on.